1327：Appreciation to the Guru for Never Leaving and Forsaking, and for Never Withdrawing the Compassionate(maitrī and karuṇā) Hand
Prostrations to His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, His Holiness the Drikung Kyabgon Chetsang, the Lineage gurus, Dharma Protector Achi, and the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. I am Chen Zu An from Group Five, and my Dharma name is Hui Yin Drolma. My grandmother is Chen Huang Jin from Group two. I am grateful to Rinpoche for compassionately (maitrī and karuṇā) granting me the opportunity to publicly praise the guru for teaching disciples through various incomparably wondrous teachings, enabling me to gain a clearer understanding of my own mind step by step on the path of my growth.
My first time seeking an audience with His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche was when I was in junior high school. At that time, I was preparing for the entrance examination to a high school music program. I remember that after Rinpoche blessed me, Rinpoche asked whether I was practicing a xylophone exercise where there was an action I had always been unable to master, and Rinpoche even demonstrated the actions of holding the mallets and the rolling technique, exactly identical to the actions that my teacher had taught me. At that moment, I felt that Rinpoche was truly remarkably incredible! I said nothing at all, yet Rinpoche knew everything! I have been an arrogant person since childhood; if I did not encounter something that truly convinced me, my heart of reverence would not arise at all. It was Rinpoche who subdued my arrogance and further let me have the fate to take refuge.
My first time imploring for taking refuge was when my grandmother brought me there. I knelt before Rinpoche and reported my imploration to take refuge. As I was in the third year of junior high school, Rinpoche instructed that either my father or mother should sign a consent letter; only after that would Rinpoche permit me to take refuge. That night, I contemplated how I should tell my parents that I wished to take refuge, yet I found that I did not actually know how to communicate with my parents. At that moment, I felt that Rinpoche’s teachings were truly extraordinary! I gathered my courage and explained to my parents that I wished to take refuge in Rinpoche. My mother also marveled at Rinpoche’s teachings and signed the consent letter.
The following week, I again sought an audience with Rinpoche; I reported to Rinpoche and presented the consent letter signed by my mother, imploring Rinpoche to permit me to take refuge. Rinpoche looked at the consent letter and asked, ‘Who signed this consent letter?’ I replied, ‘My mother.’ Rinpoche then asked, ‘Did your father agree?’ I was suddenly stunned. I am grateful to Rinpoche for still compassionately (maitrī and karuṇā) granting my imploration. On my way back, I reflected on why I was stunned. I realized that, in my impression, my father was someone who did not usually express opinions, so many times we often took it for granted and assumed that it was enough to simply tell my father; I didn’t respect my father! I am grateful to Rinpoche for once again teaching me a lesson. That night, I explained to my father that I wished to take refuge in Rinpoche, and reconfirmed whether my father agreed. My father firmly told me that he agreed. I repent that I only completed half of what the guru instructed. This matter of imploring for taking refuge planted a very deep seed in my life. Later, when I do things, I will remember Rinpoche’s teachings, trying to let my parents know my thoughts, and also knowing my parents’ thoughts. I am grateful to Rinpoche for teaching me to ‘respect my parents’even before I have taken refuge. On 23 September, 2012, I took refuge in His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche.
The following year, because my mother was facing obstacles in her work and examinations, she gave rise to the thought of seeking an audience with Rinpoche. My two elder sisters and I accompanied my mother to seek an audience. Originally, my mother had said that she would implore Rinpoche to bestow her the opportunity to attend the incomparably wondrous Chod puja. However, the moment my mother knelt before Rinpoche, her true nature was completely revealed! My mother just spoke that she implored Rinpoche to bless her exams. Rinpoche reprimanded: ‘If I bless you to pass the exams, would that not be very unfair to those who did not pass?’My mother then continued reporting to Rinpoche that her work was stressful. Rinpoche then asked whether we, the three sisters, had part-time jobs. We answered no. Rinpoche scolded us for being unfilial and for making our mother feel stressed at work. Rinpoche said that we actually were lazy and only wanted to live as pampered rich young ladies, and instructed that we were not permitted to make offerings, donate to the Buddhist Center, and attend overseas pujas! After stepping back, I just felt full of grievance. I did not seriously contemplate Rinpoche’s teachings, did not reflect upon myself, nor did I try to understand my mother’s suffering! I repent! I sought an audience with desires, and was irreverent to the guru.
In 2015, we gathered the courage to implore Rinpoche to bestow us the opportunity to make offerings, donate to the Buddhist Center, and attend overseas pujas. I am grateful to Rinpoche for compassionately (maitrī and karuṇā) instructing the three of us sisters to implore all the Dharma brothers in our group to assign consent letters.
At the beginning, I still diligently implored the Dharma brothers to assign consent letters. Later, because of my own laziness, arrogance, carelessness, and disobedience, I indulged myself and used being busy with school and other excuses to justify my avoidance. Gradually, I gave up and continued living with a mindset of ease and selfishness.
After entering society in 2020, only through Rinpoche’s compassionate (maitrī and karuṇā) blessings, together with the continual reminders and encouragement from my contact person, did I realize that I could no longer continue indulging myself in this way! I am grateful to Rinpoche for using the teaching of consent letters to allow me to continuously reflect upon myself through the process of repeatedly explaining to and asking Dharma brothers, which taught me how to communicate with others humbly and sincerely. Since childhood, at home, I had always been self-centered and would quarrel with whoever I found displeasing. As a result, I did not even know how many people I had harmed to have affliction because of myself. I did not know how to properly communicate with my family or with others at all. It was Rinpoche’s incomparably wondrous teachings that made me realize that I was wrong! I thank the Group leader of Group Two, the contact person, and every Dharma brother for their help and precious advice.
In September 2020, I completed the consent letters, and on 3 October, I sought an audience with Rinpoche, accompanied by the contact person. I knelt before Rinpoche and reported that I implored Rinpoche to bestow the opportunity to make offerings, donate to the Buddhist Center, and attend overseas pujas; I also presented a thin red envelope. Rinpoche asked, ‘How many years have you not been permitted to make offerings?’ I replied, ‘Seven years.’Rinpoche expounded: ‘You have not been permitted to make offerings for seven years; if we assume that you were handing out NT$500 to Rinpoche every week, by now it should amount to NT$160,000. Yet looking at your envelope, there is not NT$160,000. Where did all the money go?’I replied ashamedly, ‘It was spent.’Rinpoche expounded: ‘You do not truly want to make offerings. Do not come again to deceive. It is already very good that you were not expelled. Rinpoche is a businessman and extremely good at calculation! Rinpoche will not accept your offerings, but you can still come.’
At that moment, I truly felt deeply ashamed! Just as Rinpoche expounded, if one truly had the intention to make offerings, one should, whenever one could do so, reverently set aside offering money week by week and month by month, rather than hastily taking out a small amount to make offerings after finishing the signing of consent letters; I did not change myself through action. I was merely trying to exchange one for ten, hoping that by being allowed to make offerings after implorations, I would gain good fortune, and wanting to enjoy the good fortune. My offering was not for the sake of sentient beings, but for myself with selfishness! I am grateful to Rinpoche for teaching disciples the mind of making offerings through various Dharma methods, and for letting me have the opportunity to correct my evil habits of being calculating and unwilling to give! I am grateful for Rinpoche’s compassionate (maitrī and karuṇā) blessings, which allowed me to truly realize the various evil thoughts and greedy thoughts arising within myself because of money, and to gradually understand that, as Rinpoche expounded, making offerings is as important as breathing; how different it is between an offering that arises naturally from the heart and an offering that is filled with desires and given from calculated remainder!
In July 2021, I finally saved up a sum of money. Although it was during the most severe period of the pandemic, Rinpoche still tirelessly presided over the pujas at the Buddhist Center every Sunday. There were still many suffering believers and disciples calling to the Glorious Jewel, imploring Rinpoche for help. I called to implore Rinpoche to accept my offerings. I am grateful to Rinpoche for compassionately (maitrī and karuṇā) granting my imploration and accepting the offerings. At that time, I was reverently reading The Narrative of Ashoka (Ashokavadana), which Rinpoche had instructed disciples to reverently obtain. I gave rise to the mind of imploring for making offerings, and happened to read a paragraph in which King Ashoka represented all sentient beings in making offerings to the Buddha, and the Buddha emitted golden light from His body. At that moment, I was deeply moved, and tears unconsciously streamed down. I am grateful to Rinpoche for allowing us to have the opportunity, good fortune, merits, and resources to listen to the incomparably wondrous Buddha Dharma!
However, I was truly as Rinpoche expounded, a stubborn and incorrigible sentient being at the Age of Dharma Decline, obstinate, conceited, difficult to subdue, and difficult to tame! I had solely been making use of Rinpoche! Afterwards, I again shamelessly continued living a good life of ease and comfort, once again indulged my mind, and became ungrateful! I did not properly correct myself, nor did I diligently learn Buddhism!
On 21 April 2024, Rinpoche performed the incomparably wondrous Chod puja. That day, I was responsible for playing the cymbal Dharma instrument. After Rinpoche completed practicing the Achi Dharma Protector, Rinpoche did not stop beating the drum or ringing the bell, yet because I was inattentive, after playing the cymbal one round, I presumptuously stopped on my own. Only when Rinpoche spoke did I suddenly realize that I had completely failed to follow the guru! After the Achi Dharma Protector practice was perfectly completed, Rinpoche instructed me to perform ten thousand grand prostrations and asked how long I would take to complete them, yet I was unable to answer! Rinpoche instructed me to take off my vest and leave!
Kneeling outside the red door, my mind was completely blank. Only after the puja ended, when the Dharma brothers shared Rinpoche’s expounding during the puja, did I know that the guru was protecting us! I was wrong! I repent. Only when my vest was taken off did I finally know fear! Only then did I realize that I had already reached a dead end, and that I should resolve to properly correct myself from my heart!
I am grateful to Rinpoche for being unwilling to abandon sentient beings, not giving up on disciples, still compassionately (maitrī and karuṇā) granting me the opportunity to ‘auditing’ the puja; and for bestowing me the chance to repent openly and publicly before the puja on 28 April.
Just as Rinpoche expounded, I did not listen to the guru and thought I was extremely capable. I had forgotten that it was only because of Rinpoche’s compassionate (maitrī and karuṇā) granting that I had the opportunity to serve as an errand disciple and play Dharma instruments. I was irrelevant to the guru, the Dharma Protectors, and the Buddha Dharma. I forgot Rinpoche’s teachings and benevolence. I committed faults knowingly, feared being reprimanded, and had no courage! I was selfish and self-centered, nor did I respect, make offerings, and show reverentness eternally.
In June, I again signed up to seek an audience, imploring the guru to grant me the opportunity to retake refuge. While waiting in line for the audience, a believer, who was seeking an audience, was very agitatedly telling Rinpoche that he was a spirit entity. Rinpoche calmly responded ‘Alright,’ and continued expounding to the believers beside him who came together to seek an audience. That believer kept trying to step forward and move closer to Rinpoche, and even irreverently scolded Rinpoche, yet Rinpoche remained completely unmoving like a mountain, and still continued compassionately (maitrī and karuṇā) expounding to the believers who came together. At that moment, tears filled my eyes! The one upon whom we rely is such a compassionate (maitrī and karuṇā) and exceedingly capable great practitioner who is undisturbed by the greed, hatred, and ignorance of worldly people, fearlessly advances straight ahead on the path of Buddha Dharma, and risks his life to rescue all sentient beings with fate! When it was my turn to seek an audience, I implored Rinpoche: ‘I am grateful for Rinpoche’s teachings. The disciple repents and implores Rinpoche to allow the disciple to be able to retake refuge.’Rinpoche compassionately (maitrī and karuṇā) instructed me to interview with board members!
During the interview process, board members asked: ‘Why, knowing that going on stage to play Dharma instruments is an extremely incomparably wondrous and highly important matter, did you still carry out this task in an inattentive state? Why do you want to retake refuge? Why do you want to learn Buddhism?’
After returning home, I repeatedly asked myself, ‘Why do I want to learn Buddhism? Why do I want to take refuge again?’I read Rinpoche’s puja teachings online. Rinpoche expounded: ‘If you do not listen to the Buddha Dharma or practice it, your future will be dark. What is the darkness? It refers to the unceasing reincarnation in the sea of suffering. The reincarnation’s sea of suffering is dark.’I repent that Rinpoche adopts every possible method to rescue disciples and help disciples transcend from the reincarnation’s sea of suffering, yet I myself did not apply Rinpoche’s teachings in daily life, did not repeatedly contemplate the Buddha Dharma expounded by Rinpoche every week, nor did I truly correct myself from the heart and examine my own heart. I was always passive, believing that when things came, they would naturally pass! I lived each day with the mindset of seeking protection and seeking an easy life! Little did I know that all of this was reincarnation.
Because I did not truly correct the evil thoughts and evil habits that led me into reincarnation, when I faced situations, I just forgot the incomparably wondrous Buddha Dharma taught by the guru, placing myself first, and facing matters with fear; I always thought that someone else would help solve them, and did not take responsibility for myself. In the end, things were always handled in a perfunctory manner and barely completed, and then I regretted my poor handling and fell into a whirlpool of afflictions! The same situations kept repeating, with endless reincarnation and boundless darkness. Only a great practitioner like Rinpoche possesses such great power of attraction (Puja Teachings Index 22), great power of compassion (maitrī and karuṇā), and great wisdom to awaken this type of sentient being like me, who is difficult to subdue, and difficult to tame; Only Rinpoche can enable me to recognize my own evilness and faults and to have the courage to admit them; only by following Rinpoche to learn Buddhism do I have the opportunity to truly correct myself from the heart, and have the opportunity to abandon evil and practice good! If not for Rinpoche’s sudden and powerful admonition, I would still be playing in the burning house, mistakenly thinking it was happiness!
Rinpoche’s hand has always been extended outward. It was me who repeatedly gave up, repeatedly indulged my own mind, allowing myself to do whatever I wanted and muddle through life in confusion! It is because I had never truly repented and merely admitted my mistakes! Once things passed, my original evil habits and evil thoughts would occur again! I committed the faults again and again! I was unashamed!
I am grateful to Rinpoche for heavily striking and awakening me! The Buddha Dharma is difficult to hear, and a meritorious guru who truly transmits the Buddha’s right Dharma is even more difficult to encounter. Yet I had to wait until my vest was taken off before finally understanding how incomparably wondrous and precious it is to take refuge in His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. I am grateful to Rinpoche. I truly began, from daily life, to face my own faults and gradually became aware of my greed, hatred, ignorance, arrogance, and doubt. The moment evil thoughts arose, by using the Buddha Dharma taught by the guru to counteract them, the evil thoughts quickly ceased. Many matters in life have become less complicated. As for things that I would originally have calculated over in great detail, when I faced them with the teaching of ‘being grateful’ taught by Rinpoche, the calculating mind stopped. I naturally and simply complete what should be done, and evil thoughts did not continuously arise in my mind!
For me, who had very heavy thoughts of hatred, I would feel troubled and become angry when I encountered matters in the past. When I used the ‘eternal reverence’ taught by Rinpoche to counteract my evil thoughts, I was then able to truly see the needs of others and handle matters properly and calmly, rather than living within my own perspective because of hatred and looking at things using a self-centered view. I became more able to realize, through daily life, the incomparably wondrous teachings taught by Rinpoche, and more able, through the virtuous acts bestowed by Rinpoche, to see that every matter is Rinpoche’s compassionate (maitrī and karuṇā) granting! During the period when my vest was taken off, I deeply realized how important good fortune, merits, and resources are! If one wants to have a firm determination to follow a meritorious guru to learn Buddha Dharma, good fortune, merits, and resources are needed; if one wants not to give up on oneself, one needs even more good fortune, merits, and resources, and the guru’s compassionate (maitrī and karuṇā) blessings, so that one can firmly hold onto one’s mind and not be carried away by the evil karma one comitted through accumulated past lifetimes and the habitual nature; It is truly quite easy for one to give up! Just as the guru expounded, Rinpoche has never given up on any sentient being; it is always we ourselves who leave first!
I am grateful to Rinpoche for ceaselessly bestowing virtuous things through various means, which allows me to have the opportunity to accumulate good fortune, merits, and resources! I am grateful to Rinpoche for compassionately (maitrī and karuṇā) bestowing me the opportunity to retake refuge on 19 October 2024. I retook refuge on 21 June 2025! I am grateful to the board members, group leaders, the contact person, and other Dharma brothers who have helped and encouraged me along the way! I am grateful to Rinpoche for compassionately (maitrī and karuṇā) granting me to once again step onto the path of learning Buddhism!
Finally, I am grateful to Rinpoche for compassionately (maitrī and karuṇā) painstakingly constructing the Glorious Jewel Buddhist Monastery of Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, allowing sentient beings to draw near to the sacred place, and even giving sentient beings the opportunity to encounter the Buddha Dharma and plant the fate and virtuous roots for learning Buddhism! In this evil time of the Five Turbidities, and at the Age of Dharma Decline, our guru uses every possible way and risks his life to rescue every sentient being with fate!
I pray for His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s good health, longevity, and auspiciousness; his Buddha Dharma activities flourish; Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s Dharma lineage spreads eternally; the Glorious Jewel Buddhist Monastery of Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche is perfectly and smoothly constructed, benefiting all sentient beings! I thank all fellow believers and Dharma brothers for listening patiently. I am grateful to Rinpoche!
Reverently written by disciple Chen Zhu An, Group Five,
on May 10, 2026
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Updated on May 14, 2026