1299：Compassionate blessings: peaceful passing of my mother and fate of my refuge

Prostrations to His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, His Holiness the Drikung Kyabgon Chetsang, Dharma protector Achi, the Lineage gurus, and the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. Greetings, fellow believers and Dharma brothers, I am Hsu Ting Yen of group 2, and my Dharma name is Hui Yang Drolma. My husband, Hsu Shao Yun, is in Group 7, and my son is Hsu Yi Hsuan. I am grateful to Rinpoche for giving me the opportunity to hereby praise the merits of the guru and to share how Rinpoche helped liberate my mother as well as the fate origination of my refuge.
 
I took refuge in the guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche on June 22, 2008. The original reason for encountering the Glorious Jewel was that in March 2007, when my mother began to feel unwell, we took her to the hospital for examination, where she was diagnosed with stage IV nasopharyngeal carcinoma. Because the tumor had extended into the brain and formed a large mass, the doctor informed us that her ill condition would keep deteriorating, possibly compressing cranial nerves such as the optic and auditory nerves, and advised us to begin treatment as soon as possible. After discussing with the doctor, we decided to proceed with chemotherapy first. However, during her hospital examinations, my mother was also diagnosed with stage II cervical cancer. Following a consultation of two doctors, we were told that my mother needed chemotherapy for her nasopharyngeal cancer and a hysterectomy for her cervical cancer. Nevertheless, the doctors could only introduce the illness conditions they were responsible for, and couldn’t guarantee a cure rate or predict the survival time. 

Facing the diagnoses, my mother remained optimistic at that time and comforted us by saying that there was still a chance of recovery. After discussing with the doctors, though, I realized the situation was more serious than we anticipated. Just as we were at a loss and unsure what to do, a former colleague from my company, a Dharma brother from Group 8, told me that her guru might be able to help us. Therefore, we signed up to seek an audience with Rinpoche. 

When we first sought an audience with Rinpoche, my mother was still in the hospital, having just undergone an artificial blood vessel surgery, and was scheduled to begin chemotherapy in two days. She needed to take leave from the hospital to go out. That day, my mother expressed her wish to go with us to seek an audience with Rinpoche, but I presumptuously thought that since she just had surgery and taking leave would be troublesome, I could first take my younger siblings to represent her to seek an audience with Rinpoche, assuming my mother didn’t need to come along for that time being.

When we were kneeling before Rinpoche, he compassionately asked the purpose of our visit, and I reported him about my mother’s condition. Rinpoche immediately scolded me harshly that my mother had expressed her wish to come with us, and why I took it upon myself to not let her come? Rinpoche also said, “When seeing a doctor, the patient must be present in person; why is it not needed to be present when coming to seek an audience with Rinpoche?”At that moment, I repented deeply, with tears flowing ceaselessly.

Rinpoche’s words precisely reflected the reality at that time—my mother was indeed eager to seek an audience with Rinpoche in person, but I was presumptuous and had a “try-and-see” mindset, proving Rinpoche’s point completely. Rinpoche was truly extraordinary, striking directly at my problem, which left me deeply astonished. Although I was scolded by Rinpoche at that moment, it actually made me develop great confidence in him. It was because when I first sought an audience and had not yet taken refuge, Rinpoche already knew my problem; my mother had never even met Rinpoche, yet he had already known her inner thoughts. In that instant, my mind changed from being “just trying and seeing” to thinking that“Rinpoche is the only Buddha and Bodhisattva who can help my mother.”This also marked the beginning of me following Rinpoche.
After the audience with Rinpoche, and under his compassionate blessings, my mother gave up aggressive treatment, had her artificial blood vessel removed, declined surgery and chemotherapy, and only took medication to relieve her symptoms. At that time, my mother was no different from a normal person. Although she was a cancer patient, she showed no symptomatic signs of a cancer patient. She attended the Sunday puja punctually every week and became vegetarian.

Such a life state continued until April 26, 2007, when Rinpoche went to retreat at the Lapchi Snow Mountain. During this period, my mother began listening to the persuasion of other relatives and friends and tried folk remedies, for example, eating black pork and cabbage can eliminate tumors. Such absurd claims led my mother, who was previously vegetarian, to start eating meat. 

We constantly told my mother to believe Rinpoche, but her confidence was still insufficient. During Rinpoche’s retreat, my mother’s health declined rapidly within just three months. She began experiencing headaches, blurred vision, and declined hearing, and her body grew increasingly weak.

Eventually, we waited until August 3, 2007, when Rinpoche returned from his retreat at the Lapchi Snow Mountain, and immediately brought my mother to seek an audience with Rinpoche. Rinpoche scolded my younger brother and me, saying that our mother worked very hard to take care of us, but we did not properly show filial piety to her; we were vegetarian in a desultory kind of way, and didn’t make up our minds to learn Buddhism; the best way to show parents filial piety is to learn Buddhism diligently. 
 
I felt very depressed. I thought that my usual attention and care were enough, but when confronted with actual hardships, as the children, we were powerless, could not help ease my mother’s suffering and did not know how to help her. Rinpoche, compassionate and unwilling to let sentient beings suffer, blessed my mother for a long time and reminded us to reflect deeply when we returned home.

Rinpoche was like a merciful father, though his words were stern, every sentence was a teaching that guided us towards the right path. This made my mind, once having nothing to rely on, slowly become settled. At that time, we had not yet taken refuge and were merely believers, yet Rinpoche’s compassion made no distinction.During that period as believers, we witnessed a great practitioner who, for the sake of sentient beings, was able to accomplish what no one else could. If without a mind of great compassion, how could one devote oneself wholeheartedly to spreading the authentic Dharma, selflessly helping sentient beings, and guiding us–sentient beings lacking in good fortune and fate onto a clear and bright path in this evil time of the Five Turbidities.

In the final stage of her life, my mother implored to take refuge with Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, and Rinpoche compassionately granted her imploring. After taking refuge, my mother no longer felt fear and personally entrusted us with the arrangements after her passing. Even in extreme weakness, during her hospital stay, she still insisted on taking leave to attend pujas. The first time she requested leave, the doctor was very worried that something might happen to my mother and initially refused. With our entire family’s insistence, the doctor granted the leave, yet still prepared morphine and sedatives for us to use if necessary. The quite miraculous thing was that during the nearly four-hour puja, my mother felt no discomfort at all, and her mental state was even better than when she was in the hospital. When we returned to the hospital, the nurse was still very worried whether some problems had happened or not. We told her everything was fine and that not a single dose of morphine had been used. Thus, all subsequent leave requests went very smoothly.

After falling ill, my mother received Rinpoche’s blessings and was completely free from the pain of other terminal cancer patients, and her mental state was very good. While staying in the hospice ward, the family in the neighboring bed, upon learning about my mother’s condition, even asked us what supplements she was taking and why she didn’t look like a terminal cancer patient at all. All of this is thanks to Rinpoche’s compassionate saving, which made my mother feel supported at the end of her life, enabling her to face illness and death without fear, because she knew that with Rinpoche present, she was fearless. I could sense that my mother was already ready; she no longer cared about worldly matters, only about when she could attend pujas and when she could take refuge.
 
January 6, 2008, the day she took refuge, was the happiest day for my mother since she became ill. On Saturday, January 12, my mother received her refuge certificate with her bestowed name and made an offering to Rinpoche. It was clear that she was filled with joy in her mind, and Rinpoche compassionately blessed her at that moment. The next day, January 13, when the Sunday puja ended, my mother, whose health had already improved, suddenly insisted on returning to the hospital. Although we didn’t understand her, we immediately arranged for her to return to the hospital on the next day. Hospice wards in hospitals are usually fully occupied, and it is impossible to get a bed for an emergency admission. The doctor also told us that we needed to wait. But with Rinpoche’s blessings, the nurse informed us within less than an hour that a single room had become available, and my mother could be admitted immediately. My mother, who had previously been very anxious and uneasy, felt much more at ease after being admitted. She immediately placed Rinpoche’s Dharma portrait and her refuge certificate by her bedside and arranged for the caregiver and hospital matters. She did not want us by her side, leaving only the caregiver to take care of her. I told her I would visit again the next day, but she only waved at me. At that moment, I didn’t know it would be the last time I saw my mother.

After we returned home, we received a call from the hospital at 10 p.m., informing us that my mother’s blood pressure was very low and asking us to come to the hospital immediately. When we arrived at the hospital, my younger sister held my mother’s hand and asked the caregiver about her condition. The caregiver then told us that my mother had passed away, and it was only then that we realized she had gone. She appeared as if asleep, her body was soft and relaxed. These incomparably wondrous signs were highly incredible to us, who had not yet taken refuge. My younger brother and I had not yet taken refuge, but Rinpoche explained during the puja that within eight hours after a person passes away, family members may quietly chant the Great Six-Syllable Mantra by the deceased’s side. Although we were quite reluctant to see the passing of our mother, we deeply believed that Rinpoche would help her. 

Although we had not yet taken refuge, we remembered that Rinpoche once said during a puja that selling the treasures loved by the deceased and widely engaging in good deeds would accumulate good fortune. Therefore, I sold the gold ornaments and jewelry my mother had left, and with the modest amount received, I made an offering to Rinpoche on her behalf. When kneeling before Rinpoche, we reported that our mother had passed away, and we would return her refuge certificate, vest, as well as the Dharma portraits together.
 
Rinpoche then accepted my mother’s offering and immediately performed the “Phowa Dharma” to transfer-consciousness of my mother. While Rinpoche performed the Dharma, my whole body grew hot, tears poured endlessly, and I felt currents of warmth flowing through my body. At that time, I had not yet taken refuge and did not completely understand the incomparably wondrous significance of the Phowa Dharma. Knowing that my mother had received Rinpoche’s help, my previous grief over her passing was transformed into calm and peace of mind. When we realized that Rinpoche helped my mother with such an incomparably wondrous Dharma, we truly felt that there was no way to repay the kindness of the guru. It is difficult to attain the human form, to listen to the Dharma,and to encounter a guru. This further strengthened my determination to follow Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche in learning Buddhism. Rinpoche saved not only my mother, but also our whole family.

Over the 17 years since taking refuge, our entire family has received an immense amount of care from Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. My previous job was at a health biotech company, where I was responsible for the sales of health supplements. However, as the company expanded its operations, it established a laboratory to develop new drugs, conducting animal experiments for new drug research. When I saw the laboratory’s drug development reports and learned that mice were injected for experiments, I felt very sorrowful. Although it was unrelated to my sales work, this was going to be the company’s future core business. Therefore, even knowing that this industry would develop well in the future and the salary was good, I still decided to leave the company. I originally thought that finding a similar position wouldn’t be easy, and I had already prepared to be unemployed for several months. The highly miraculous thing was that when I had these thoughts, and started to send out my resumes, interview opportunities immediately appeared. After leaving my previous job, I started working at the new company right away. All of this is thanks to Rinpoche’s blessings and protection.

I repent the negative karmas I have created in this life and accumulated past lives, too numerous to record, such as killing sentient beings, eating meat, drinking alcohol, scheming against colleagues, being self-righteous, lacking compassion for others, and many other negative deeds. Before taking refuge, I regarded myself as a good person, believing that the way I conduct myself and do things was all correct. After taking refuge, I was startled to realize that for a third of my life, I had transgressed the Five Precepts, the Ten Meritorious Acts, and the Thirty-Seven Practices of Bodhisattvas. Before taking refuge, my life was like a rudderless boat adrift upon the waves. Without the blessings of Rinpoche and the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, I would have been carried along by karma all the way to hell. In this life, being able to take refuge in such a precious guru and to listen to such incomparably wondrous Dharma is the most rightful thing I have ever accomplished. In this world filled with distorted and dreaming thoughts, it is so easy to lose direction without Rinpoche’s teachings and guidance. I deeply fear that, along with the negative karma from accumulated past lives, I may fail to properly follow Rinpoche in learning Buddhism. Rinpoche’s pace is very fast, and I am quite afraid of losing track if I am not careful. Rinpoche has taught that belief is the mother of all merits, and that if one lacks the root capacity, one should simply listen well. Knowing that I am a disciple lacking the root capacity, I am determined to listen obediently and follow Rinpoche closely. When I was young, I dreaded being scolded by my father. Now, hearing Rinpoche’s admonishments touches me profoundly and brings me joy, and it feels so good to have someone guiding me.

How fortunate we are now to take refuge in Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, who is non-different from the Buddha, and to listen to such incomparably wondrous Dharma at this Buddhist Center. Making offerings to Rinpoche is the most fundamental practice, and listening to Rinpoche must be accomplished. According to the Dharma taught by Rinpoche, it is a daily practice to correct oneself using the Five Precepts, the Ten Meritorious Acts, and the Thirty-Seven Practices of Bodhisattvas. 
On this occasion, I would like to share this encouragement with all Dharma brothers and fellow believers. Let us strive together toward the Pure Land of Amitabha Buddha, and not let Rinpoche worry about us. I pray here for Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s longevity; his Dharma activities may flourish; he will benefit more sentient beings; the construction of the Glorious Jewel Buddhist Monastery will be completed smoothly and successfully, and Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s lineage may eternally reside in the world. I sincerely thank all fellow believers and Dharma brothers for listening patiently.

 

Respectfully written by

Hsu Ting Yen, Group Two, On August 16, 2025

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Updated on August 22, 2025