1314：Perfected and Meritorious Life-Repentance and Appreciation
Prostrations to His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, His Holiness the Drikung Kyabgon Chetsang, the Lineage gurus, Dharma Protector Achi, and the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. Greetings, fellow believers and Dharma brothers, I am Guan Ren Mei from Group One, my Dharma name is Hui Yu Drolma, and I took refuge on April 24, 2004; My father, husband, and son are all in Group Three; they are Guan Zhu Zhong, Zhou Jianxian, and Zhou Guozhi, respectively; my mother is Xie Cun and my daughter is Zhou Yan Tong from Group One. I am grateful to His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche for accepting us as disciples and granting me to hereby repent publicly and praise the incomparably wondrous traces about the guru’s merits.
I repent that at the age of 22, while still a student, I was greedy for romantic love， attached to passionate desires, and unfilial; deceiving my parents, I cohabited with my husband, and became pregnant before marriage, having four abortions. After marriage, I also underwent one medication-induced abortion and one natural miscarriage. I killed the lives of innocent beings, and my evil karma is exceedingly grave.
Rinpoche once expounded: ‘The sin of committing abortion is the same as that of killing people, which will lead one to fall into Hell.’All lives are incomparably precious, yet I was so cruel as to harm sentient beings; my karmic obstacles are deep and heavy, and I deeply repent. Having taken refuge for 22 years, every time I hear the teachings expounded by His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinpoche, I am always filled with deep remorse and unbearable anguish over the overwhelming evil karma I have created, as if a great stone were pressing upon my heart. However, I remained ignorant, evading my own wrongdoings, daring not to face them, daring not to seek an audience with Rinpoche, daring not to repent to Rinpoche, and not imploring Rinpoche for transferring consciousness. Due to my fear of karmic retribution, I merely made apologies and deceived myself, until Rinpoche—who is compassionate (maitri and karuna) and possesses great power—sternly pointed out the grave evil karma I had committed 30 years ago. I repent that I am extremely reprehensible, having caused immense suffering to sentient beings. I am deeply grateful to His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche for his compassionate (maitri and karuna) rescue.
I am grateful to Dharma Brother Wei for reminding me: ‘If they suffer, you also suffer; you should implore Rinpoche to transfer their consciousness.’I am grateful to Dharma Brother Lai and the group leader for their care and assistance in signing up. When I sought an audience with Rinpoche, Rinpoche, with the authority of a strict father, sternly scolded me that, despite having taken refuge for 22 years, I had been skilled at evading responsibility, leaving the evil karma I had created for my children to bear. Rinpoche compassionately (maitri and karuna) instructed us to attend the puja the following week in the Vajra (Secret) Hall of the Glorious Jewel Buddhist Monastery of Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche to observe what Rinpoche was doing, and then he would discipline us.
The following week of that puja, I again sought an audience with Rinpoche to repent to Rinpoche and implore Rinpoche for transferring consciousness. Rinpoche, like a strict father and mercy mother, instructed: ‘Perform ten thousand grand prostrations.’I am grateful to Rinpoche and thank all the volunteer Dharma brothers for their assistance, which allowed us to immediately perform grand prostrations at the Buddhist Center after the audience. I am deeply aware that my own evil karma is deep and heavy, and I repent for having created such tremendous evil karma. After completing ten thousand grand prostrations, I once again repented to Rinpoche and implored Rinpoche for transferring consciousness. I am grateful to Rinpoche for compassionately (maitri and karuna) granting our imploring, and I will be forever grateful for Rinpoche’s immeasurable benevolence.
Having worked in nursing for 30 years, I know well that a plant-based diet has long been recognized by the medical community and is absolutely of great help to health. There is a hospital where, for sixty years, both patients and medical staff are vegetarian; abundant scientific evidence has also demonstrated that being vegetarian is beneficial to the body. I am grateful to the guru for teaching us to be vegetarian, to refrain from killing, and that all sentient beings cherish life. I repent that before taking refuge, I ate and killed countless sentient beings, and that before giving birth I even deliberately went to a restaurant to eat a large platter of shrimp and seafood. Rinpoche once expounded: ‘Eat eight ounces and repay half a pound; karma is truly real; killing cuts off the seed of compassion (maitri and karuna) and also forges evil karmic ties with sentient beings.’As a result, the childbirth process for both of my pregnancies was extremely dangerous, causing my children to suffer severely even before birth.
Most pregnant women give birth within a week after having the bloody show, but my daughter was induced in the hospital only after more than a week had passed since I had the bloody show. When a pregnant woman experiences the rupture of membranes, if the fetal heart rate shows drastic changes, it indicates that the fetus is in danger due to oxygen deprivation. After I had the rupture of membranes, my daughter’s fetal heart rate once stopped, which was an extremely perilous situation. During the normal course of childbirth, in certain situations, medical staff may assist the delivery of the fetus by ‘applying abdominal pressure.’ After I was admitted to the delivery room, the nurse tried to assist the birth by ‘applying abdominal pressure,’ but I still could not deliver. Thus, another male doctor was then called to ‘apply abdominal pressure.’ My daughter was born in the rare circumstance of being delivered by two male doctors, and already had cyanosis and hypoxia at birth. Rinpoche is exceedingly incredible, expounding that when my daughter was born, one of her shoulders had not been properly delivered. Only then did I understand why, every night after her birth, she would only sleep on her stomach on my left chest until morning; it turned out that her shoulder was injured and she could not lie on her back.
Besides, my son was born only after his due date had been exceeded. During childbirth, because the situation of the nuchal cord was extremely severe, the doctor stated that the medical staff could not assist by ‘applying abdominal pressure’, and I would have to deliver on my own. During the childbirth process, the umbilical cord was pressed, which might affect the fetus’s oxygen supply. In order to be delivered through the birth canal, the fetus will exert much pressure, and any facial bleeding at this time may be caused by the fetus’s excessive force. As a result, when my son was born, the tiny blood vessels in his face ruptured due to excessive pressure, resulting in pinpoint bleeding. I also developed red spots on my face during the childbirth process because my whole body exerted forces. I deeply repent the killing karma I have committed and am grateful to Rinpoche.
In 2024, I sought medical attention due to menopause and was found to have a 4.105 × 3.19 cm tumor on my left ovary. The doctor suspected it might be malignant and therefore, helped me obtain a referral. After being referred, I asked the second doctor whether the tumor might disappear. The doctor said the possibility was very little, and if it had not disappeared by the next follow-up, it would not disappear. I was examined by a total of four doctors, and the results were the same.
On December 8, 2024, His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche presided over the incomparably wondrous ‘Green Tara puja’ at the Glorious Jewel Buddhist Monastery of Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. During the puja, Rinpoche bestowed blessings upon all attendees through the statue of Green Tara. Rinpoche compassionately (maitri and karuna) expounded: ‘I hope that Green Tara hears my prayers and, in accordance with the principles of not killing life, not violating karma, and not breaking the law, enables both your careers and work to go smoothly, makes your families more harmonious, and, in terms of the health, allows you to find a right doctor to effectively treat the illnesses you have. As long as you have complete faith in the yidam and the Dharma performer, you will surely receive blessings and corresponding results.’I am grateful to Rinpoche. The next day I returned for a follow-up, and after the examination, the doctor said that the ovarian tumor had disappeared and that I only needed to be monitored again after a year. It has now been over a year, and the tumor hasn’t recurred.
According to Compendium of Materia Medica, black soybeans are extremely effective for kidney function and for detoxifying the body; traditional Chinese medicine holds that most of ovarian cysts are caused by qi stagnation and blood stasis, kidney deficiency with blood stasis, or obstruction due to phlegm-dampness. I once saw a news stating that black soybean tea can benefit the kidneys, help detoxify excess fluids, and aid in reducing uterine fibroids and cysts; Korean weight-loss program specialists and physicians have recommended using black soybeans as a method for weight loss; a Japanese doctor of naturopathy also recommends that people can eat more black soybeans, noting that they can reduce harmful cholesterol, that their skins are rich in anthocyanins with excellent antioxidant properties, and that they can inhibit fat formation.
I am thankful to the ‘Glorious Jewel Japanese Food,’ recipient of the National Quality Gold Award, for importing the high-quality ‘Yuugetsu-tei’ black soybean tea. After my ovarian cyst was detected, I began using a thermos every day to brew this non-genetically modified sprouted black soybean tea, and after brewing the tea, I would also eat the black soybeans. I am grateful to Rinpoche; only through Rinpoche are we able to enjoy the black soybean tea of superior quality and rich aroma. The company’s associate general manager often travels to Japan, and after tasting this black soybean tea, he praised it highly, saying that even in Japan, he had never had black soybean tea with such good quality.
In June 2017, a gastroscopy revealed that I had multiple polyps and tested positive for Helicobacter pylori. I did not take any medication, and only drank the Glorious Jewel Pu’er tea every day. At the follow-up examination in May 2018, the doctor stated that there were no polyps and that the Helicobacter pylori test was negative. American scientists have demonstrated that Pu’er tea possesses significant antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, and antiviral effects; French scholars have confirmed that Pu’er tea has effects in lowering cholesterol and promoting weight loss, and that it is also the tea most effective at removing greasiness. Therefore, my blood test reports have always been normal, with no red marks, and I rarely catch colds. The doctors often use my health check reports as a Demo. The Glorious Jewel Pu’er tea manufacturer had already conducted inspections before export. After arriving in Taiwan, Rinpoche also had the Pu’er tea tested again, and none of the 488 pesticides or dithiocarbamates were detected. I am grateful to Rinpoche!
In the internal promotion exam presentation at my company, I began by expressing my gratitude to Rinpoche for teaching us to respect our teachers and elders, to cultivate a mind of being grateful, and to approach everything with diligence and effort. I am thankful to the founder for giving me the opportunity to serve in the company; thanks to my supervisors for their guidance and to my colleagues for their mutual support…Finally, I will always keep in mind the words in the calligraphy masterpiece of Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche: ‘If a person has a kind heart, constantly cultivates the mind of compassion (maitri and karuna), show a little more gentleness, is more reasonable, honor the commitments to others, is loyal to friends, filial to parents, and honest sincere in all actions, does not harm hidden merits, and strives to make things convenient for others, then that person can be considered morally complete.’
After hearing my presentation, my supervisors applauded in praise of the guru, taking out their phones to record my words of gratitude. I am grateful for Rinpoche’s teachings. Afterwards, I successfully passed both the written and oral exams.
Since childhood, my children have attended pujas and been nurtured in the Buddha Dharma taught by the guru; receiving the guru’s blessings, they have been selected multiple times as exemplary students and models of filial piety and respect. It’s difficult to attain the human body, listen to the Buddha Dharma, and encounter a meritorious guru. Being able to take refuge in and rely on His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche is an extraordinary good fortune for us. I am grateful for Rinpoche’s teachings.
The wrongdoings I should repent for are as numerous as the dust of the earth, beyond all counting. All the evil karma I have committed in this lifetime and throughout accumulated past lifetimes, I now repent for them all. I am grateful to Rinpoche for ceaselessly and continuously performing Dharma with his compassion (maitri and karuna) to bless sentient beings, benefiting vast numbers of sentient beings, so that I received a lessened effect of heavy karmic retribution. I will remember my father’s instruction, given before his passing, that I should listen to Rinpoche. I must take the Five Precepts, Ten Meritorious Acts, and Thirty-Seven Practices of Bodhisattvas as my guiding principles, and strictly guard my body, speech, and mind; commit no evil acts, and do all meritorious deeds. I vow to follow the guru to learn Buddhism diligently, get liberated from birth and death, and no longer reincarnate so as to repay the benevolence of the guru.
Regarding the benevolence from His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche on helping my family and colleagues， please refer to Traces of Liberating Beings, Article No. 019: The Guiding Light in Life, No. 921: The Benevolent Guru to Guide the Perfected and Meritorious Life, No. 1078: The Guiding Light for Perfected and Meritorious Life, No. 1183: The Beginning of Perfected and Meritorious Life, and No. 1200: The Fate Origin of Perfected and Meritorious Life for details. I am grateful for the guru’s boundless benevolence and thankful for the Dharma brothers’help.
I pray for His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s good health, longevity, and auspiciousness; the Dharma wheel turns unceasingly; his Buddha Dharma activities flourish; the Glorious Jewel Buddhist Monastery of Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche is perfectly and smoothly constructed; and Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s Dharma lineage spreads eternally, benefiting all sentient beings. I thank all fellow believers and Dharma brothers for listening patiently.
Respectfully written by disciple Guan Ren Mei, Group One,
on January 18, 2026
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Updated on January 23, 2026