502: A First-Hand Experience of the Dreadfulness of Cause and Effect

Praise be unto His Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas! I am Yu Kaili of Group Eight.

At the end of 2009, after leading the Sino Travel puja group to participate in a puja in Japan, and under the encouragement of my Dharma brothers, I sought an audience with Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche to implore the guru to alleviate the suffering of my father, who was in the hospital at the time. Also, when my father passed away, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche bestowed liberation upon him. .Thanks to this causal condition, I began participating in the Chod Pujas and the general Sunday pujas, eventually being fortunate enough to take refuge in Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche in this lifetime. I have been his disciple and in his care for only four months now, yet already would not be able to list all the things the guru has done for me. Recently, I’ve had another couple of first-hand and extremely profound experiences related to cause and effect.

Tour guide Yu Kaili (first on the right) at work with her clients

On May 1st, 2011, my right shoulder suddenly started hurting so badly and it felt like it was about to drop off. Whenever I walked anywhere, I cradled my right hand for fear that it might. On May 2nd, I went to the Glorious Jewel Chinese Medicine Clinic for a checkup, and the attending doctor diagnosed me with a dislocated shoulder joint. That same day he put it back into position, but by evening the intense pain had begun to return. Later, I implored Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche to bless my shoulder for me. While he did so, the guru mentioned that in the past I must have helped someone turn over a fish that was caught in a net. This was the first time I had a profound realization of the dreadfulness of cause and effect. Under H.E. Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s blessings, I immediately stopped feeling any pain at all. Had it not been for his blessings, and his asking the sentient beings I’d harmed to forgive me, my arm could well have rotted off. I used to particularly love eating chicken wings and drumsticks, and I would not deign to eat them unless the drumsticks were whole. This was cause and effect brought on by my past eating habits.

Two weeks later, on the morning of Monday, May 16th, I was taking the escalator at a Metro stop when I suddenly lost my footing and slid down as though I were on a slide, landing solidly on my butt several steps down. Due to having landed directly against the sharp edge of the stair, the muscles in my lower back were in so much pain that I could not stand up. Eventually I curled up against the corner of the escalator and waited for the station personnel to come and help me. They quickly brought a stretcher and a wheelchair, and tried to get me lying on the stretcher, but because I was unable to change my posture, they switched me over to the wheelchair instead. Meanwhile, I could hear them mentioning, while contacting the EMTs, that they had heard a sound like bones breaking. I then asked the station personnel whether the cracking sound they had heard had been very clear or not, and they answered that it seemed that it had been indeed.

I was taken to the regional hospital, and even before having any X-rays taken, it had pretty much been determined that my backbone or vertebrae had been damaged. However, once the X-ray results came back, to everyone’s surprise, it turned out that my bones were fine, and that I had only sustained superficial wounds! Had it not been for Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s compassionate blessings, my backbone surely would have been broken and I would have been hospitalized. However, I was able to be discharged without even having to receive a single shot!

Looking back on it, I must have dropped some animals at some point in the past; otherwise I would not be so prone to falling down these days. When I was little, whenever I hugged a puppy or bunny and felt their ribs, I felt scared, and would drop the animal from a great height. I made sentient beings feel pain and fear, so now it should be my turn to hurt and feel afraid. In addition, the sharp, serrated edge of the escalator stairs had, due to the force of its gears, ground into my back deeply, leaving a total of eighteen scars ranging from five to eighteen centimeters in length, looking just as though I had been grilled like a piece of meat on the barbecue. I regret for having harmed so many sentient beings in the past.

I am grateful to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche for repeatedly bestowing opportunities and blessings upon me. If it had not been for his use of his own good fortune and compassion to placate those resentful sentient beings I had harmed, my backbone likely would have been broken, my hair tangled irretrievably up in the escalator gears, and I could even be dead. There is even a possibility that long before falling down the escalator, I could have lost my life during the great earthquake that occurred in Japan on March 11th, 2011. I am thankful for the herbal ointment provided by the Glorious Jewel Chinese Medicine Clinic, which helped the deep wounds on my back to go from cuts, to scabs, to when the scabs fell off in a mere five days! I also am grateful to my Dharma brothers, who are like family to me, for immediately rushing over and accompanying me at the hospital and in my home, thus giving me great support when I was most afraid.

Now I would like to make a public repentance for having harmed countless sentient beings in the past. When I was little, my home had a lot of empty spaces, and looked like a miniature zoo; we raised a bunch of guinea pigs, dogs, chickens, ducks, geese, red-eyed and black-eyed rabbits, pigeons, turtles, an eagle, and an owl. We kept them locked up, depriving them of their freedom, and caused them a great deal of suffering. They even had to worry about whether or not they would get eaten by humans. If their owners would not feed them, then they would not get to eat any food, and we forcibly broke them apart from their family members.

I have eaten pork, beef, chicken, fish, shrimp, frog, snake, turkey, and other types of meat, and I used to really like visiting puddles outdoors to catch tadpoles. These I would ladle up and bring home to play with, where I would season the water I kept them in by adding pomelo peel and dishwasher detergent until I had killed the entire basin full of tadpoles.

I once watched a neighbor kill a snake that had been hanging from the branch of a tree, skin it, make soup out of its flesh, and eat it. One time my cousin’s family was slaughtering a hog. I walked over there and was called over by my cousin’s husband, who was the butcher, to lend a hand. When I grabbed hold of the dead hog’s foot, I watched as he sliced open the stomach with his butcher’s knife and all its guts spilled out all over the place! I have also recommended fish for others to buy, and have myself sold clams. When I was a child, my playmates and I discovered a small white dog dead on the road. We wanted to give it a cremation, so we spread wood under it and on top of it and lit it on fire. It burned and burned, but all I said was, “It smells like a roasted suckling pig.” I have also killed cockroaches, ants, spiders, fruit flies, and other small insects.

I had absolutely no sense of mercy until I myself experienced the dreadfulness of cause and effect, and saw with my own eyes how compassionately Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche helps sentient beings. This has left a profoundly deep impression on me. I repent, from the bottom of my heart; I regret for my past evil acts, and hope that every one that I ever harmed can be reborn in the Virtuous Realms, leaving suffering and obtaining happiness soon. Amitabha!

Respectfully written by Disciple Yu Kaili (Group 8) on May 22, 2011.
Updated on April 7, 2017.

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