092: Revitalizing My Life

Thanks to The His Eminence Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche:

It was due to my mother that I had the fortune to meet Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. When my mother passed away in January of 2007, I was brought to meet Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche by Dharma Brother Miu-chi in order to request Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche to transfer the consciousness of my mother. Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche gave his word to me but also told me to abandon eating meat. It was then that I had the opportunity to attend a Chod Puja. Upon five days after the puja, I had a dream, in which my mother was wearing a fine kimono. My mother told me she had attended the puja and she asked me to say thank you to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. In the dream I could feel that my mother’s hands were warm and soft. I was aware that she had passed away not long ago, so I urged my mother not to stay too long and should go back soon. Then I saw two Americans wearing helmets and dressed in white lead her away. When I woke up it was 9:50, I believed my mother’s consciousness had been transferred to a good place and Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche had fulfilled my mother’s wishes because she had once told me she would like wear a kimono when she passed away but I had not prepared a kimono for her. In the dream, I was also aware that my other deceased relatives looked to be in a dark space, while only my mother was in a bright space.

I believed only Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche had such power, by which my mother was relieved from attachment and her wishes were fulfilled. It must surely be the power of the Bodhisattvas and I can not express my gratefulness in words.

I then went to meet Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche and told Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche about my dream. I tried to make an offering but was refused, because Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche said the money radiated the smell of meat. I was very sad about that since I had no chance to repay Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s gratefulness. So that night I made up my mind to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life.

I then thought to seek refuge. I remembered that when my daughter was born in October of 1990, I did not have good care during my postpartum month. As a result all my body channels were exhausted and thus I could not even take any rice or water. Each time I would vomit what I ate. Every day I always felt stuffy around three or four in the early morning and could not fall to sleep. I felt my body was as powerless and empty as dead wood. The doctor of Western medicine said it was arrhythmia, while the doctor of Chinese medicine said that my pulse could not be diagnosed appropriately so he could not give me a prescription. During that period of time, what I had done was to be bothered by doctors of both Western and Chinese medicine all day. The doctors even refused to see me and suggested that I find someone better qualified. That experience was so hard to endure that I thought of killing myself. (A decade later my mother once told me she thought I would not make it through that period.) I just made it through by taking banned medicine for heart disease.

In July of 1992 after I had given birth to my son, the Chinese doctors said the condition of my pulse was in an unstable state. For six months I took medicine and all the while the doctor didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting better. The doctor studied and suggested that I take a special prescription which cost ten thousand dollars per dose. It took more than six months of this treatment for my pulse condition to return to stable and my body was really quite weak. The doctor told me I should not have any more children or I would die. He also told me the prescription should be preserved carefully because such a condition might happen again at the age of sixty. At this time I truly felt my life was over.

I could only describe my body as being like a candle in the wind or like a walking corpse. I had never relied on the Civil Insurance or the Labor Insurance services because I knew they wouldn’t have decent medicine and so for ten continuous years I had to buy top-class ginseng on my own to sustain myself.

In September, I met most venerable Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche and said thank you to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche because my condition had become much better after three months of treatment by the Glorious Jewel Clinic. I also let Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche know I wanted to seek refuge under Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. At that time I thought my condition had improved greatly, but in reality it was only Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche who knew that my problems were not yet over.

In early of October, I broke out in a rash across my face. It was tumid and ugly, so I looked for help from Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche.

After the rash on my face, it broke out at my fingers and then festered all over my arms. Then the symptoms became worse and blisters grew into larger areas. When the doctor presented my medical history to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche said the cause was “moistness in the spleen” and told the doctor to tell me that I would recover, but it would take long time and I should be patient. When I heard this from the doctor I suddenly came to a realization and took a look back at my own medical history. At first, I had gone to the Glorious Jewel Clinic to cure the problem of postpartum; however due to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s special insight I now recalled an experience with sickness when I was young. My mother told me that I had not been breast fed and that my body had been very weak. Actually I was the weakest one among my siblings. When I was studying in school, most of the time I did not join in P.E. classes because I had developed hand dermatitis on my hands. The problem was not solved even though I had sought out many doctors for treatment. The problem became even worse while I was studying in junior high school, my hands and feet were irritated to the extent that I could not join the morning assemblies on the parade ground because I would pass out during the assemblies. It was not until when I was studying in senior high school and able to earn my own living that I went to meet an old doctor in Keelung. Back then the old doctor had already said that the problem was “moistness in the spleen”. No one other than myself could have know this because I always went alone to see that doctor, but now Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche had thoroughly helped me solving the cause of my illness. I believed this guru was helping me, without using unnecessary words. That Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche was giving Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s power and blessing to me even though we were not face to face. For this I felt an immense, immense gratitude to him.

After I joined the Sagano Scenic Railway journey in Decemebr, my arms became dark purple beneath the skin, and there was a 0.2 cm layer of water beneath the sebum – all very itchy and painful to me. But when it came to the condition of my pulse, the Chinese doctor said it had become stable. That is, during May to December my pulse had changed from a weak to stable state. I was then I could enjoy the taste of food which I had not been able to eat for the past ten or more years. All of this was due to the merits and virtues of my guru.

The situation became extreme during a period of time in Jan of 2008, in which I had to take nearly twenty days of leave for that month. I went to work only one or two days a week; and during the days I went to the office I would go in at eleven but leave at two. The skin of my arms looked like that of an anteater – thick and scaly. The scales gradually flaked off, but it was so painful that I could not even wear any clothes. Every night I would have to use a whole bottle of Bao-Yuan Medicated cream and I also would have to spread three large towels on the bed and rub my arms repeatedly. I could not work during the day time and could not sleep well at night. My skin would drop over the bed, the floor and everywhere. At that time my job was sales. Although I had few time in managing sales activities due to my skin problem, I had still achieved more than one million in sales with no returns for three whole months. I don’t know how to express my gratefulness to the Buddha and Bodhisattvas, since the conditions I faced were really hard on me. However because of thier power, I was able to stay stable in mind and take care of myself, without having to worry about pressure from my job. Incredible! Deep in my heart, I knew this was all due to the power of the Buddha and Bodhisattvas and I felt very happy.

After reaching a peak during February and March, my condition alleviated gradually. I was able to attend the journey of the grand inauguration ceremony for the Buddhist center in Kyoto. I knew the season was near Dragon Boat Festival and the summer was coming and I was very afraid of the itching that I knew would come with the summer. However, the itch stopped when I returned to Taiwan. For this I am very appreciative of the mercy and blessing of the Buddha and Bodhisattvas. Truly! There are no words in the human language that can describe the merits and virtues of a true guru. For this I feel immense gratitude to the Buddha.

My family, siblings, colleagues and my boss had all gossiped about me during my recovery period, some even said I had been possessed by the Devil or I had overdosed on Chinese medicine. The seniors of the company I was working for also talked about me during meetings. Having had such an experience, I have learned that when Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche said I had no faith, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche was actually giving me instruction and encouraging me to face those coming difficulties. I deeply believe my guru has been constantly giving me his blessing. Without Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche I could not have overcome these situations. For this I feel gratitude to the most venerable Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche.

During the treatment period, I had been visiting business customers. Some doctors of Chinese Medicine told me that in Chinese Medicine what is called the spleen, in western medicine is called the pancreas and that this area is not easy to cure. Some said that they had seen patients with spleen disorder and added that doctors often would take tissue samples to confirm cases. However, most cases show that the patient would be in their last stages by the time such an examination was performed. I feel quite fortunate because I was saved! Since I have experienced much suffering from disease and now have been cured for a long period of time, I believe that my illness could not have been cured by doctors, regardless if they were using Chinese or Western Medicine. It was the Buddha and Bodhisattvas who saved my life. I really appreciate my guru’s mercy that I could recover so fast.

I was re-vitalized by the most venerable Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche.

The guru’s benefaction has no boundary. My life has never been so complete before. My guru is the true final destination for me and for the first time I can feel happiness in my life. I shall listen to my guru’s teachings and take diligent effort in self inspection.

Thank you, my guru Buddha. Thank you Buddha and Bodhisattvas. Thank you so much.

Sincerely,
Chen Hsiang-Ting, a disciple

Updated on March 22, 2009