079: It is hard to repay the Guru’s kindness

I was born and grew up in a farm family and my parents also had made a living by farming. I have been away from home since high school for study, work, and eventually because I started my own family. Because of work I stay in the Northern Taiwan most of the time, except when I return back to my old rural home in Southern Taiwan to have a family reunion with my parents for the Lunar New Year holidays or festival days. It was not until the early 2002 when my father passed away due to myocardial infraction that I was astonished at not only my lack of filial piety but also the regret that my father would no longer be beside me. Therefore I gave the filial piety that I did not show my father to my mother, bringing her to live with us away from our rural home town in Southern Taiwan. However, her liver cirrhosis, caused by a hepatitis C virus she has gotten by blood transfusion during her left kidney removal surgery twenty years ago, was getting worse by the day. She was even hospitalized in intensive care twice for mass blood-spitting caused by esophageal variceal.

At that time, my wife had already taken refuge under Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. At this time of helplessness, we went together to implore Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche for help. The next afternoon, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche mercifully went to the hospital and blessed my mother, who then was able to be discharged from the hospital smoothly. After that I would take her back to the hospital for routine check-ups. However, a few months later, the doctor clearly told me that she did not need to come for check-ups anymore and that if something happened she should be sent directly to the emergency room. The doctors meaning was that we’d better be prepared to give up. Upon hearing this, I felt very depressed and helpless and very unfilial because I had not taken good care of my mother. It was then that my wife told me firmly that only Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche could help my mother and us. Therefore together with my wife, I went to the Glorious Jewel Jewelry Company again to implore Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche for help. Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche asked me if I had taken refuge and I replied no. As far as I could remember, since I was little, my family had continuously killed many animals such as pigs, ducks and chickens, as well as spraying insecticides etc. We also had killed many ducks and chickens on holidays or festival days. With this serious karma resulting from all that killing, my mother basically did not have the merit to obtain Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s help. However, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche still mercifully let us attend the pujas so as to cultivate merit.

In the beginning, all of our family first attended the Chod pujas and subsequently we started attending the Sunday pujas too. My mother also found a new center in her life after attending the pujas a few times. Although my mother had been bowing and praying in temples since she was little, but all that was just going with tradition, now her thinking was changing gradually too. Our family talks also gradually focused on Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s teachings as well. My mother did not look like a person who was serioulsly ill and the ascites due to her liver cirrhosis did not affect her daily life. Our relatives often said that we took good of care of my mother, but we knew it was due to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s blessings, without which we would not know what to do. On August 2006, my mother voluntarily asked to take refuge. I know she found something she could rely on and what she wanted. On April 2007, just a few days before Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche was going to Nepal for retreat, my mother was hospitalized in SongShan Armed Forces General Hospital due to lack of breath. She still wanted to attend the last Chod puja right before Rinpoche’s retreat however passed away two minutes before the beginning of the puja. My wife, our three children and I went to the venue before my mother passed away and later asked the dharma brothers to report to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche the death of my mother, who passed away accompanied by my brothers and sisters. My mother was granted the auspicious Phowa Dharma conducted by Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche soon after. We were very gratified that she could have the great virtue of obtaining Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s help to attain rebirth in the Pure Land. When arriving at the hospital from the venue, we saw a calm look on her face, touching the crown of her head we found it warm to the touch and felt her body was soft and a little bit warm. From this we knew she had attained rebirth in the Pure Land through Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s help. Strangely speaking, we, my seven brothers and sisters and other relatives of mine, did not feel sorrow and even talked easily. Just as Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche had taught that relatives should not feel sorrow but instead cherish the memory if the deceased’s consciousness was transferred well. All of this we owe to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s compassion and blessings that had allowed my mother to hear the Buddhist Dharma during her last years and furthermore attain rebirth in the Pure Land by obtaining the auspicious Phowa Dharma conducted by Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche.

Before seeking refuge, I suffered from chest distress for a long time which did not respond to any medical treatment I had received before. However, after seeking refuge, to my surprise, it was cured without any medical treatment. I am very grateful to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche for this.

After taking refuge under Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, I have found the answers for the fears, helplessness and hesitation I felt towards all aspects of life which I had had since my father passed away suddenly. I also now know what I want. I thank Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s kindness for all of these. I as a disciple will not only feel gratitude continuously but also vow that I will follow Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche life after lives to learn Buddhism and follow as well as practice Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s teachings uninterruptedly.

Tu, Wen-Chai, disciple of Rinchen Dorje Rinpoche, Drikung Kagyu Lineage of Tibetan Buddhism

Updated on February 11, 2009