Homage to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma Protector, Achi, Your Holiness, Drikung Kyabgon Chetsang , Your Eminence, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche.<\/p>\n
My name is Evan Shaw (Xia Yi Fen) of group 7 and I took refuge 2012.09.23. My wife is Hu Xiao-chen (group 8) and daughter is Tai Shaw (group 1).<\/p>\n
I have been a disciple of Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche for only just over a year now. While some of my experiences and understanding during this time may seem precious and special to myself, I know that they may not seem remarkable to others. Moreover, being such a new disciple, there are so many things I don\u2019t know and I think I make many foolish and careless mistakes for which I should take the blame for.<\/p>\n
Trying to learn and practice Buddha Dharma for many years, I always thought the Dharma was so perfect, complete and clear that one just need follow. I doubted what one could benefit from having a master. Of course, a master could teach from his own experience and provide methods of practice but, in the end, one would have to do the work for oneself. I thought, didn\u2019t Buddha say, \u201cEach individual has to work out his own salvation with diligence?\u201d Over the years I had also seen many so-called masters who seemed not what they or others claimed they were.<\/p>\n
I stuck to my own views in spite of the experiences of my wife, Hu Xiao-chen and daughter, Tai with Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche; and even in spite of Rinpoche himself giving me the chance to come into contact with him when he commissioned some ceramic work from me. And in that job, Rinpoche made no demands on me, allowing complete freedom and in the end graciously accepted the results which, I regret, were not up to my own expectations.<\/p>\n
Although I was not a disciple at the time when my parents died, I must now repent for not pleading for Rinpoche\u2019s blessing for them as Xiao-chen requested me. Now I know that in spite of my neglect, Rinpoche actually helped them. Both times when I reached America after they had just died, I found their bodies were soft and relaxed, that they just \u201cslipped away\u201d and my brother and sisters were also relaxed and even cheerful. My father\u2019s funeral in America coincided with Chod Puja conducted by Rinpoche in Taipei with Xiao-chen and Tai in attendance and many may recall Rinpoche afterwards remarked that. Here, I am so late to repent and offer my thanks to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche.<\/p>\n
Western education trains us to look at things objectively and critically; this and my experiences may have also made me a bit cynical. And, it took me time to change. I began to visit the Glorious Jewel Buddhist center on Saturdays. I had some questions and ideas about the Dharma to reconcile for which I sought Rinpoche\u2019s answer. Rinpoche\u2019s replies were clear and unambiguous, of course. He also impressed on me that meditation does require a master and that the practice I was doing would make me want to become a monk.<\/p>\n
I went home from those encounters with a pervading sense of peace, meditated effortlessly and slept and woke with a subtle joy. The next week I mentioned this experience to Rinpoche and he just smiled and appeared surprised.<\/p>\n
I went a couple of more times to ask Rinpoche about the Dharma. One evening, Rinpoche indicated to me that there were many people waiting to approach him and time was short. I requested one more question. Rinpoche patiently agreed. \u201cWill you accept me as your disciple?\u201d \u201cYes, go and register.\u201d For quite some time, Rinpoche was not accepting the offering of Xiao-chen but that night he began accepting it again, saying \u201cYou brought your husband here.\u201d The very next Sunday, Rinpoche conducted the Puja for Taking Shelter.<\/p>\n
While I know that there may not be answers in words to the things we wonder about, I have found that, when Rinpoche teaches, he also directly conveys the understanding according to our aptitude. I never approach Rinpoche casually. I try to study my question; often I find the answer in myself. If not, I might ask Rinpoche.<\/p>\n
For me, coming from the Theravada tradition, the Vajrayana can seem so multifaceted and various and even bewildering. I asked Rinpoche to help me to comprehend, reconcile and accept this aspect of the Dharma. Rinpoche replied that Buddha\u2019s teaching is one: because of cultivating selfishness all our lives, we are enmeshed in karma. The practice is to leave selfishness. And he revealed to me, \u201cI never think of myself.\u201d Of course, leaving selfishness is no easy task, and Rinpoche concluded, \u201cJust do as I say.\u201d Since then in this regard, though there are things that I don\u2019t understand or have difficulty accepting, they don\u2019t disturb me because I trust in my guru and his example.<\/p>\n
On another occasion, I asked Rinpoche how one can develop real compassion. Is it just the result of wisdom? Rinpoche\u2019s reply was that all one needs to do is share in the (compassionate) activities of the guru.<\/p>\n
I have had many wrong views about the Dharma. One such view was that, although we should not harm any sentient being, a human being could in self-defense, to protect himself and harm other beings. Therefore, I have harmed and killed many beings, thinking it was right. Thanks to Rinpoche\u2019s unambiguous guidance, I here, belatedly, repent.<\/p>\n
I wanted to make an offering to Rinpoche. Material things are just material things but we give them value. I had something that we considered precious. Because of a mistake I had made I was at that time not allowed to enter the Center on Saturdays but I requested to make an offering and was allowed. I feel an offering represents my mind. First, I confessed my mistakes and Rinpoche dismissed those things and asked how I had this item. I replied that it had been passed down in my family to me. Rinpoche said that it must be precious to us and that, because of my attitude, he would accept it and added that it would bring merit to me and our family.<\/p>\n
Some time later, our family was struggling with a lot of problems. I did not know at the time but learned later that Rinpoche had directly intervened to alleviate a major problem. When I went to thank him I said I was ashamed that Rinpoche had to bother do what we ourselves should manage. Rinpoche said there was no need to be ashamed. I also said that even our own family members could not help but that now I know the Guru is even closer than one\u2019s own family members. Rinpoche said this is just what Buddha said.<\/p>\n
This was a great blessing from the Guru\u2014 not just to have a problem solved but to have my understanding and faith in him strengthened in such a way.<\/p>\n
I tried to practice Buddhist mindfulness for many years without much achievement. Mostly, I am defeated by my own attachment and aversion. Rinpoche has taught me to cultivate a mind of reverence, obedience and gratitude. When I can do this, it keeps my mind from going down the drain of selfishness. Because Rinpoche constantly reminds me to \u201cfear karma,\u201d I have begun to realize this is the greatest and most practical tool of mindfulness: no cause, no effect. I am fortunate to have such a master who distils the Dharma into such an accessible practice. But a few moments of mindfulness are out-weighed by immense carelessness: it is impossible to innumerate all the mistakes I make due to selfishness, greed and aversion, etc. and I repent for these.<\/p>\n
Around the time that I began to consider taking refuge I also learned that I had a serious illness. Infected long ago, it had been developing in my body over decades. After becoming a disciple, I learned how serious it was. I have hepatitis C virus infection which destroys the liver and western doctors told me my case was incurable and fatal. One doctor even said I have only three years to live and had better \u201cgo to America and have a liver transplant.\u201d I never considered such a thing. Rather, I thought that we all, especially as Buddhist practitioners live daily with the reality of death and I felt a kind of freedom, knowing about its certainty in this way.<\/p>\n
I reported this to Rinpoche, who briefly stared at me and said that it \u201cdoesn\u2019t seem so serious\u201d. I couldn\u2019t help but smile and relax when Rinpoche prescribed, \u201cDon\u2019t eat cold things, raw food or drink Coke.\u201d<\/p>\n
On another occasion, Rinpoche said, \u201cI know everything about you. You cannot leave so quickly. You have many unpaid debts.\u201d And I always remember that, even before I took Rinpoche\u2019s shelter, he told me, \u201cI can keep you busy (in ceramic work) for ten years.\u201d Rinpoche has taken every opportunity to bless me. I don\u2019t forget I am sick but it doesn\u2019t bother me as I am in his personal care. I feel life and death are up to him.<\/p>\n
Last year, I mentioned to Rinpoche that I recently had my 62 birthday and that I reflected on my life: all my adult years I have searched and practiced to achieve liberation but I seem to have not much to show for my effort. I said gladly, \u201cMy greatest achievement is to have come in contact with Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. (And in view of my illness,) I don\u2019t need to live any longer time if this life will not result in getting closer to my goal.\u201d Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche\u2019s reply was his beneficent smile.<\/p>\n
Until now, there has been no western medical cure for my case and I just go every three months for blood and other tests at the hospital. Every week I visit the Chinese Medicine Clinic for examination and herbal medicine. Rinpoche recently asked me how my health is. I replied that all the doctor\u2019s say, \u201cstable\u201d. Rinpoche just remarked, \u201cIncredible!\u201d, and smiled.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know how doctors evaluate the condition of my illness. Last year, an expert told me unambiguously that the virus was destroying my liver (and other organs) and that the liver was not regenerating: the damage was \u201cuncompensated\u201d. However, recently, the western doctor who regularly monitors my condition told me, that in spite of the destruction the liver is definitely regenerating itself. He said I have the disease but with no apparent symptoms. To have the chance to learn Buddha Dharma, to be given the time to live and practice the Dharma, I cannot adequately express my gratitude to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche.<\/p>\n
I only know that, though I am ill, I continue to live fairly normally for now and have the chance to learn and practice Dharma. I hope I can make every thought and action of each day pure and helpful to others. I don\u2019t like to speculate or try to comprehend what is incomprehensible about the karma I have created. It certainly has made the path to liberation difficult and I should avoid creating more. What I am sure of is: my most precious asset on this path is my Guru, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche.<\/p>\n
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\u7b2c\u4e03\u7d44 \u590f\u6c82\u6c7e \u606d\u64b0
\n2014\u5e741\u670831\u65e5<\/p>\n
\u00ab \u4e0a\u4e00\u7bc7<\/a> –<\/strong><\/span> \u8fd4\u56de\u5ea6\u773e\u4e8b\u8e5f<\/a> –<\/strong><\/span> \u4e0b\u4e00\u7bc7 \u00bb<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Homage to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma Protector, A […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gloje.org\/tc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/10233"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gloje.org\/tc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gloje.org\/tc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloje.org\/tc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloje.org\/tc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10233"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloje.org\/tc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/10233\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10236,"href":"https:\/\/www.gloje.org\/tc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/10233\/revisions\/10236"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gloje.org\/tc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}