690: Grateful to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche for Saving My Mom

“I prostrate myself in obeisancebeforeHis Eminence Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, the Buddhas, and the Bodhisattvas. Greetings, honorable believers and Dharma brothers! I am GuoXuewen of Group Eight. My daughter, also in Group Eight, is Li Yuzhen. I am grateful to H.E. Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche for having bestowed upon me this opportunity to share an account of how the guru saved my mom. In addition, I would like to repent to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche on her behalf.

“My mom grew up a farm girl in a rural community. As such, she was always very robust and hearty, and seldom succumbed to illness. She raised chickens and planted vegetables, however, so her karma from killing was quite heavy. Every time I hear H.E. Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche talk about the karmic retribution that comes from harming sentient beings, I grow very worried, and fear it could be too late for my mom to listen to the Dharma to keep from falling into the Three Evil Realms. There have been a few times when, kneeling in front of the guru’s Dharma photo, I have implored him to cause my mother’s karmic retribution to manifest sooner rather than later. At such times I have also promised that I would do my best to take care of her and be a filial daughter. Only by causing her to get sick could she stop taking sentient beings’ lives. In my arrogance, I thought that participating in the pujas for many years would enable me to shoulder the burden of my mom’s illness—her karmic retribution. However, only after she had actually fallen ill did I discover that, just as H.E. Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche said a few weeks ago, I had only listened without putting what I learned into practice. I repent for merely practicing Buddhism superficially, for not genuinely acting in accordance with the guru’s teachings, and for not truly believing in cause and effect. In addition, I did not realize that impermanence could rear its ugly head at any time, so my mind was constantly lax. I was afraid of the pain that comes from the possibility of losing a family member, and as soon as I encountered difficulty, I did not meet it face-on with courage. I repent for not having integrated into my life the Dharmas taught by H.E. Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche.

“On the evening of October 6th, my little brother drove our mom to a nearby doctor’s clinic for a checkup. The doctor prescribed some cold medicine for her, but she continued to feel very lethargic, and by the following day she still had not gotten any better. On October 8th shewent to the emergency room at a hospital in the Taoyuan area. After a full day of examinations, it was discovered that her inflammation index was at 6.75. Because my mother had no other abnormal symptoms, however, they kept her on an IV drip all day and then allowed her to return home to rest. Nevertheless, she was still extremely lethargic, and did not even have the strength to speak. She also had a lot of trouble walking. At about that time it suddenly hit me that my mom had not possessed sufficient good fortune to find a doctor who could treat her condition. Terrified of losing my mother, on whom I depended, I quickly knelt before the mandala and shamefully recalled that she had neither eaten vegetarian nor sought any audiences with Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche in the past. How dare I seek help from the guru? I did not even feel worthy enough to utter a supplication for Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche to bestow blessings upon her. As a result, I simply knelt there before the mandala, crying profusely and repenting to the guru on my mother’s behalf. I repented for her having slaughtered countless sentient beings, including chickens, goats, pigs, sea creatures, and mice. I also repented for her having killed many sentient beings just to satisfy her children’s desire to eat good food.

“After a while I calmed down, and only then did I remember that I could take my mom to see a Dharma brother who is a doctor—Dharma Brother Xie. The following day, after I pushedmy mother’s wheelchair into his clinic, Brother Xie asked a few simple questions andused such methods as body palpitation to determine where our mother was feeling pain. He immediately told us that our mother’s symptoms were the result of cellulitis, andvthat she should be hospitalized right away. Brother Xie also warned that this meant she would likely have to be hospitalized for seven to ten days. I accompanied my mom to the hospital straight away, where she underwent a series of examinations. Seeing how much all this medical treatment was causing her to suffer, on top of the fact that she could neither walk nor speak, and was beginning to exhibit signs of dementia, as her daughter I wanted to bear her pain for her but felt helpless to do so. Furthermore, because my mom had not eaten vegetarian, I did not dare to visualize Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche bestowing blessings upon her head. In my sadness, I made a phone call to a certain Dharma Brother Lin, and was reminded to calm myself. I then remembered that I could go to the Buddhist Center that Saturday and make an offering to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche to implore the guru to alleviate my mom’s suffering. I also reported my mother’s condition to my group leader, some of whose words made me realize that I had not praised the guru’s merits in front of my family members very often. I repented for not having amended my ways or acted in accordance with Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s teachings. My mother’s illness had worsened enormously; on the evening that she was checked into the hospital, she completely forgot her home phone number and address. The next morning, which was a Friday, I hurried home tomake prostrations before Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s Dharma photo and implore the guru to lessen my mom’s suffering.

“Meanwhile, after a consultation with a neurologist, the doctor informed my brother that our mom’s cellulitis might have spread to her brain. Brother Xie immediately wrote a referral to have her transferred right away to amedical center. After my brother told me about this over the phone, I hurried over to the mandala to prostrate myself over and over before Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s Dharma photo. I also reported to the guru that I accepted my mom’s condition, no matter what it might be, and would take all of Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s arrangements. On the way back to the hospital, my mind was full of fear and worry. After all, my younger brother and I were both just ordinary people, so there was no telling where our mother might be transferred. I soon received a concerned phone call from a Dharma brother and my group leader reminding me that I could seek out assistance from Dharma Brother’s Xie, Cai, and Wang. They also reminded me of a few things that allowed me to compose myself enough to make arrangements for the transfer from the hospital. As it turned out, my mother was moved without mishap to a large, well-known hospital. During the admission examination process, Dharma Brother Wang also arranged for Dharma Brother Yang to visit my mom and share with my younger brother in the emergency room an account of how Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche had helped her and her family members, thus helped us to calm down.

“I am grateful to RinchenDorjee Rinpoche, because without the guru I would not have been helped by the Dharma brothers. After listening to Dharma Brother Wang’s story, my brothers and our mom promised to go and seek an audience with RinchenDorjee Rinpoche. It was then that I discovered that my mother’s spirits had improved. She could sit upright and speak normally again. Curious, I asked her if she knew where we lived and what our telephone number was. My mother answered both questions correctly. After a while, one of the ER doctors came over to inform us that my mom’s current inflammation index had dropped to just above 1, and that her white blood cell count had returned to normal. Her inflammation index was now below the level necessary to necessitate hospitalization. To confirm whether or not the cellulitis had spread to her brain, however, a spinal tap would have to be performed; if she chose not to undergo the procedure, then she could switch to oral medication and be released from the hospital. After hearing the resident doctor’s explanation, I was shocked. Then I thought back carefully, and recalled that only two days previously, her inflammation index had been nearly 7 and her white blood cell count had been abnormal. Furthermore, when she’d been admitted into the hospital the day before, she had been unable to walk. That very morning, in fact, she had only been semi-conscious and had even had trouble getting out of bed; at midday she was in an ambulance being transferred with urgency to another hospital. How, then, could her inflammation index have fallen to just over 1 by that evening? I immediately told my brothers that all of this was thanks to the compassionate blessings of H.E.Vajra Guru RinchenDorjee Rinpoche. It had been the guru who had given good fortune to our mom, which had in turn caused her illness to subside with extraordinary speed. I also explained to them that her inflammation index had dropped and that she was strong enough to sit up.I then asked them not to allow the spinal tap procedure to be done to her. At first they disagreed, so I again reminded them that we would be seeking an audience with RinchenDorjee Rinpoche the following day and that the guru would make the best arrangements possible for mom. I repeated my request for my brothers to hold off the procedure. In the end, they agreed not to subject her to more suffering. Presently, our mom made noises about wanting to go home. Because she was still on an antibiotic drip, however, she was not allowed to check out yet, so she lost her temper. She had regained enough strength to be able to shove at me with both hands. Seeing this was what convinced my brothers that she had gotten her strength back.

“On the way home, I told my brothers that the doctor had said cellulitis patients normally needed to be hospitalized for seven to ten days, and that our mom had been released after just two. I then asked my brothers and our mom to be sure to eat vegetarian, as a way to genuinely show their thanks to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. The next day, lacking respect, our mom ate meat. Her feet immediately swelled up, and she lost the causal condition and good fortune to seek an audience with the guru. Only my brothers, my daughter, and I came to the Buddhist Center to express our gratitude to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. The guru told my brothers that he could only save our mom one time, and that if my brothers wanted to thank the guru, then they and our mother should all eat vegetarian. Furthermore, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche said, they would not be allowed to seek another audience until theyhad stopped eating meat. I am grateful to Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche for having compassionately accepted the offering made by me and my daughter, and for allowing my mother and brothers the causal condition to go vegetarian. I had always prayed that they would do this as well. Soon afterward, Doctors Xie and Cai showed their concern by asking after my mom’s condition, and both said it was extremely unfathomable and that as doctors, they could never have predicted such a remarkable recovery. Usually cellulitis patients had to stay in the hospital for seven to ten days, whereas my mom had only had to be hospitalized for a couple of nights. Moreover, most patients put onto antibiotics are left in a much weakened condition and tended to take a very long time to recover, but my mother had shown no such symptoms. I am grateful to H.E. Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. Without hiscompassionate, selfless blessings, none of this would have been possible.

“Finally, I would like to publicly repent that when I got married, we had a wedding feast at which many fish and meat dishes were served. I also have had an abortion before. From an early age I ate countless portions of beef, pork, chicken, goose, lamb, fish, and seafood. For having harmed countless sentient beings, I repent, and promise never to make the same mistake again. As for all of the evil acts I have committed, I accept all of my due karmic retribution, and am striving to thoroughly amend all of my evil habits. I have made a firm resolution to become liberated from life and death so that I may be reborn in the Pure Land and benefit all sentient beings as a way of repaying the debt of gratitude I owe my parents and sentient beings. I am grateful for the immensely compassionate Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, who is no different from the Buddha, who has shown such good care to me and my family members, and who saved my mom. I vow to follow Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche through lifetime after lifetime, to diligently learn Buddhism, and to act according to the guru’s teachings. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my group leader and Dharma brothers for their concern. I pray that Richen Dorjee Rinpochewill maintain good health and keep turning the Dharma wheel. May the Dharma be spread far and wide, and may the Drikung Kagyu Lineage flourish forever, benefiting all sentient beings in all Ten Directions throughout the Dharma Realm!”

Written with respect by Disciple GuoXuewen, Group 8, on October 19th, 2014

« previous – Return Traces of Liberating Beings Next »

Updated on April 27, 2017