010: Seeing Again

I had poor vision of both eyes even when I was little and had to wear mopic glasses of -5.0 Diopters as early as when I started going to kindergarten. Hoping that my vision could improve, my parents adopted all kinds of measures, but all their attempts eventually failed. At the time I didn’t realize that this was actually all due to my own karma. Subsequently, the diopters of my myopia continued to increase and went over 1000.

Around 1996, I experienced retinal detachment in my right eye. I had already had amblyopia, so with even poorer vision, I could then only rely on my left eye. By the end of February 2006, the same problem occurred in my left eye. Although the retina had been attached back to the eye through a surgical operation, my vision didn’t even reach 0.1. I was overwhelmed by panic and fear, not knowing what to do. Additionally, I could no longer handle my job and had to apply for suspension from my office for a period of over eight months without pay before transferring to another department. During that period, Dharma Brother Jingyi told me about her Guru, the Most Venerable Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche and his mercy and compassion as well as aspiration to help all sentient beings. She asked if I would like to go meet Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche at a jewelry store. However, at that time I didn’t have enough Karma or merit and thus didn’t go. That November, my mother was hospitalized, so after a reminder from Dharma Brother Jingyi I went to beseech Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche for help.

When I knelt down before Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche kindly asked me what had brought me here. Before I even spoke a word, I found my tears streaming down my face uncontrollably, feeling that only Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche was able to help my mother. I then told Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche my mother’s name and medical condition. Thereupon, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche enlightened me on the cause of my mother’s illness, bidding me to attend pujas over a long period of time and thereby accumulate merit for my mother. Thereafter, I began to attend the weekly Chod pujas. Additionally, I also began to attend the regular pujas on Sundays the next year.

Before I sought refuge, I had once asked for Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s advice on my vision problem. Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche enlightened me that it was a result shown in the present life from the negative karma I had accumulated in my previous lives. It was thus that I learned about the dreadfulness of Karma and that it would be necessary for me to have firm faith in the Doctrine of Cause and Effect in order to repent for my negative karma accumulated in this and my other previous lives and that I should willingly accept karmic consequences resulting from those previous lives.

I took refuge on January 15, 2006. After I became a disciple, my retina and vision remained stable, thanks to the refuge provided by my Guru’s vast merit. Though I had undergone surgery to reattach my retina back on, there was always a risk of recurrence. Once I met a man who had previously had a great job in a Hi-Tech company. Nonetheless, he was unable to continue working due to retinal detachment and subsequently wasted a lot of time and money. In the end, he failed to restore his vision and had to apply for disablity. In comparison, I have had the fortune to have a regular job and a life. More importantly, I can even follow a virtuous Guru to study and learn Buddhism. All this has been due to the merciful and compassionate blessing as well as care of Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, and the merit he bestowed upon me.

Before I sought refuge, I had regularly returned to the hospital to have my eyes checked up. The doctor told me that I had developed a cataract. He told me that I could have it treated with surgery, but, as I had suffered from retinal detachment previously, there would be risks with the operation. At that time I didn’t feel like undergoing such surgery. Up until June of this year, I felt that my vision was getting cloudier and blurrier than before and thereby had my eyes checked at Dr. Fang’s clinic. Dharma Brother Fang told me that my cataract was extremely thick and that I would have to undergo a surgical operation to implant an artificial intraocular lens.

Dharma Brother Fang then helped me file an application to the Bureau of National Health Insurance and scheduled the surgery for me. On July 5, I was notified by Dharma Bother Fang that my surgery was to be held on July 25. I didn’t really feel apprehensive or anxious about the upcoming surgery. However, when I was pushed into the operation room for real, I was all nervous and my heart rate was probably over a hundred beats/min. I felt breathless and couldn’t relax although I kept telling myself not to be nervous. Then, I contemplated in my mind that Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche was bestowing his blessing upon the crown of my head and felt that Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche was standing beside my operation bed like a benevolent father giving me strength. After this thought occurred to me I suddenly realized that my breathing was back to normal and my heart beat regularly. I no longer felt nervous and the operation went smoothly.

Ten days prior to the surgery, the high officials in my company called for a meeting among the departments and announced assignment changes. One of the tasks I was assigned was to handle the samples of IC parts. I felt quite distressed at the time. To someone with normal vision, it would be no difficult task. However, as someone with extremely poor vision, I had to stick my face close to the computer monitor and could only recognize something at a very close distance. I was worried that I would not be able to perform this job. Anyhow, thinking about Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s words which explain that whatever comes at us in this life has its cause from our previous lives and that we should accept it. I thereby felt less apprehensive.

The day after my surgery, I returned to Dr. Fang’s clinic for a post-op follow up. When the swabs and eye cover were removed, I was stunned by the sight before my eyes. My right eye had only seen blurry light and images prior to yesterday but it was now seeing crispy and clear images. This vast difference was definitely beyond my imagination.

A month later, Dr. Fang again filed an application for me and scheduled another surgery. I underwent surgery on my left eye on September 22. When the swabs and the eye cover were removed the next day, it surprised me even more. The vision of my left eye was not only clear, but also much better than its right counterpart. How amazing it was indeed!

I feel repentant and ashamed that I have never made any great offering. It had never occurred to me that my vision would improve. How was I to be worthy of such fortune? With -20.0 Diopters myopia, vision below 0.1, previous retinal detachment, intraocular scar formation and fibrosis and the particularly high risks and difficulties with my operation, I had been able to receive the best surgical operation performed by a doctor and had had my vision restored all before the assignment changes became effective. Everything that happened to me was due to the protection provided by the great merits of the Most Venerable Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. I have shared this experience with my family, friends and other Dharma brothers, all of whom were touched and amazed at Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s great mercy as well as compassion and wondrous power.

I would like to show my appreciation for the help of Dharma Brother Jingyi, various Dharma brothers and, most important of all, my Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. Had I not sought refuge under Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, I would not have had the opportunity to hear and learn about the true Dharma. My vision’sproblem might have gotten even worse and thereby forced me to live a life of fear and worry. In addition, I am repentant of my insincere devotion in carrying out the Guru’s teachings. However regardless that I have been unsuccessful in wholly following his teachings, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche still provides opportunities for disciples to learn about the Buddha Dharma and as such I should definitely put more effort into my cultivation of the Buddha Dharma.

The reason why I want share my experience here is to remind myself, as well as everyone else, to cherish the invaluable treasure beside us. In this age of the degenerate Dharma, it is extremely rare to find such a great practitioner who sacrifices his own life for other sentient beings, denounces fame as well as wealth and asks for nothing in return while praying that all beings be freed from suffering.

Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche constantly enlightens us that the Buddhist Dharma exists as part of our daily lives. We must always pay attention to our body, speech and mind and remind ourselves to correct our behavior. Hopefully we will be liberated from the cycle of birth and death and be freed from reincarnation this life so that Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche will have more time and energy to benefit other sentient beings in need.

Allow me to share the above to all and again express my appreciation for the Most Venerable Vajra Guru Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. Thank you.

By Disciple Yuxiu,

Updated on February 7, 2009