229: Cerebral Cavernous Hemangioma, the Untimely Bomb in My Brain
The story began at 00:30 AM on November 7, 2006, horrifying howls resembling those of a wild beast came to my ears. I dashed to our bedroom and saw my wife prostrating on her pillow, shivering. When I turned her over, she was frothing at the mouth and showed white eyes. “Shuling, Shuling! What’s happening to you?” I cried. She was unable to answer my questions no matter how loud I shouted. Panicked, I called 911 and had her sent to the hospital.
I could not remember anything when my husband told me what had happened to me. The doctor informed me a cerebral cavernous hemangioma (a vascular malformation composed of large dilated blood vessels and bleeding in the brain), 1.2 centimeters in diameter, found in the language area of my left temporal lobe. According to the doctor’s diagnosis, it could neither be cured through surgical operations nor pills. The only thing we could do was try to control the epileptic seizures by taking antiepileptic drugs.
I stayed in bed all day long from then on. I was tired and suffered from severe memory loss. I could not express a complete sentence, sometimes even a word due to the brain pain. All I can do was suffering the pain, aimlessly waiting for my last day to come.
When my elder sister knew what happened to me, she told me there is a benevolent Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche in Taiwan, who has a kind heart and own powers to cure me. Furthermore, she told me how Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche saved her son and helped tons of people around the world. However, I was not convinced at that time, I thought I was brave enough to deal with it and told my husband to take good care of my children.
One day, I was reading a chapter in Sutra of Eightfold Enlightenment and saw the following words: “There are 10 difficulties in a person’s life…The eighth is to receive blessings from a real great practitioner…and the tenth is to see Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.” At that moment my faith grew and I realized that Buddhas actually reside in the world. Then I looked at the photos of Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche on the website of Glorious Jewel Buddhist Center. During that night, I tried to visualize Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche in my mind and dreamed that he was taking care of my illness. After I wake up, I noticed that all the side effects from the medicine I ate vanished. The twitching of the blood vessels in my right hand stopped. Moreover, I felt dizziness no more and could leave the bed by myself.
Since I got the disease, my sister had been imploring Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche to cure me. The first three weeks, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche rejected her plea because I did not trust him. Surprisingly, on the day after I dreamed of Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche granted to bless me right away. 12 days later, I ventured my life to take a 14-hours flight to Taiwan, regardless the chance that the hemangioma might burst out during flight turbulence then changing me to a vegetable or die. To my great surprise, not a single occurrence of turbulence happens during the flight, and I arrived in Taiwan safe and sound.
When we met with Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, he said, “It was not an easy task to bring you back here.” Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche told us that his younger brother has a brain tumor as well. Nevertheless, he refused to be a vegetarian, so Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche wouldn’t save him. It was the imploration from Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s mother that made Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche helps him. Upon hearing this, my tears fell down, I felt that meeting with Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche was the same meeting with Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, the feeling was beyond description. Then, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche asked, “When are you going back to the States?” “On March 18 next year,” my husband replied. He then responded, “I cannot save you if you keep traveling back and forth like this.” Upon hearing Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s words, my husband replied without hesitation, “We can stay.” Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche said, “Don’t answer me without thinking. Come see me next Tuesday then.” So that was it. We gave up everything we had in the States— the car, the house and the job, and settled back in Taiwan. I knew that my future can become bright, only if I am with Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche.
On December 29, I attended my first Chod puja. When I got home, a large quantity of dark sticky fluid came out from my Jenny. I knew it for sure that it was not the period. One month later, I sought refuge under Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche and made my first offering. On that very night, some matter resembling lumps of blood again came out of my Jenny.
Only one and half months thereafter, I felt vigorous every day and was able to speak fluently and think even more clearly than ever. The speed of recover was beyond my expectation. On March 5, 2007, I had my another brain examination. The size of the hemangioma had not enlarged and the blood clots around it had disappeared. My friends and relatives all felt that my health conditions and language ability were improving. I attribute them all to my Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche. It was the Most Venerable Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche who granted me the opportunity to learn about the sublimity and greatness of Dharma.
Ever since two weeks after I returned to Taiwan and met with Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche, my Guru, I have not taken any western medicine, nor have I received any medical treatments. There has been no occurrence of symptons, and I have been living just like a normal person.
Since taking my refuge in Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche on January 28, 2007, Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche gave us many opportunities to attend pujas in various holy places with him to accumulate merits for ourselves. I know that I had done much negative karma in previous lives and need to accumulate vast merits and virtues soon for learning and studying Buddhism. Therefore, I have been cherishing every given opportunity. I followed Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche to India to attend great puja in February, to Nepal to see Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche off for a retreat, again to Nepal to receive Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche upon completion of the retreat, to Kyoto, Japan, for the Daimonji Bonfire, to Ladakh for the Pig Year Teachings, and to Nepal for the inauguration of a new monastery. During past year, I took several long distance flights, and even traveled to Ladakh, India, at 3500 meters altitude for the Pig Year Teachings. Because of Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s blessings, I didn’t feel any discomfort and showed no sign of bearing a cavernous hemangioma, am unwelcome visitor, in my brain.
Were if not for my Guru, I would be a shadow. Were it not for my Guru, I would have to live in fear. Thank you, my Guru. I, as a disciple, can never ever repay your kindness.
Zeng Shuling, a disciple of the Glorious Jewel Buddhist Center
Editor’s Note on Dec 12, 2008:
Shuling was found to have Cerebral cavernous hemangioma in 2006. Her condition has been getting more stable through Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche’s extraordinary blessings. She made two follow-up examinations in September 2007 and in July 2008 respectively at Mackay Memorial Hospital, Hsinchu. Followed there is the brief and note of the two test reports.
- These two were magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) exams, which helps visualize the structure of brain blood vessels and detect possible pathological changes in the brain.
- In year 2007 and 2008 reports, a cerebral cavernous hemangioma, a small vascular lesion with hemorrhage, appeared hypointensity at her left temporal lobe (as indicated by the arrow in the photo), whereas the rest are free from abnormalities.
- Significant differences between the two examination results:
(a) Obvious shrinkage of the lesion was shown, from 1.3×1.4 cm to 1.13cmx1.13cm.
(b) While repeated hemorrhage from the lesion was found in the 2007 report, only old hemorrhage was shown in the 2008 report. In other words, Shuling’s condition has been getting stable and improving without new bleeding.
Postscript:
(a) Cavernous Hemangioma:Unlike other tumors, a cavernous hemangioma is not a real tumor, but a vascular malformation commonly composed of dilated thin-walled blood vessels. A cerebral cavernous hemangioma usually exists at birth and its causes are still unknown from human knowledge, and it could be detected through an average check-up. Since it could not be known in advance, its unpredictable nature makes it like a untimely bomb in brain. When the intracranial pressure increases or any blunt force strikes the head, the vascular malformation might burst and cause bleeding, resulting in cerebral hemorrhage, i.e. hemorrhagic stroke, which is extremely severe, even life-threatening.
Treatments:
The doctors are not able to suggest any feasible treatments for cerebral cavernous hemangioma patients. Being as one of the typical cases, Shuling’s vascular lesion is located in the cerebral parechyma and far from the skull. The surgical operation definitely will damage the left temporal lobe to a certain degree, and as a result, cause to be paralyzed as being stroke although the vascular malformation would be recovered. Another alternative is the vascular embolization treatment which is also in high risk. No one knows when this untimely bomb would burst without proper medical treatment, that is patient’s life is in jeopardy at any minutes.
(b) Examination results:
Imaging study showed shrinkage of the vascular hemangioma and no further hemorrhage. How a miracle it is, indeed.
| MRA in Year 2007 | MRA in Year 2008 |
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| (1) Lesion site: 1.3cmx1.4cm (2) Repeated hemorrhage from the lesion was found |
(1) Lesion site: 1.13cmx1.13cm (2) only old hemorrhage was found and no new bleeding was found |
Updated on February 2, 2009